23

Saturday 1sts v Balcombe 2nds, 28^th August

You’ve got to laugh. Most games this season we’ve been struggling to find 19 players to fill 2 teams on a Saturday afternoon. Thanks to Pike, today we had 23. Never has there been so much head scratching outside of The Pavilion at 1 O’Clock. They say that what goes around comes around and so DT was reminded of the time when he himself picked 12 players for a match at Bolney resulting in PB Tits being despatched back home. So after 20 minutes discussion, it was agreed that Dave would step down and Umpire the 1^st half of the match. A match which we won by 48 runs …

STEVE BARKER

Useful 41 runs at the top of the order showing the young Australians that us Brits aren’t all completely shite with a bat in our hand. Wasn’t fully focussed on the game due to pending Club Team Selection Rule Changes.

MARK SHRUBB

Looking more and more not like an opening batsman but bizarrely enough looking at bit more like a bowler these days. Took his first ‘5-fer’ for approximately 9 years.

TRAVIS GEDDIS

Painfully enough, Travis has been available to play all season but only met James Ralph a couple of weeks ago. Oh how the season may have been different. This boy can bat. Top scored 77. Great fielder too. Apparently he bowls a bit as well. On the downside, looked like someone out of an ABBA tribute band.

JASON VORSTER

Still blaming his bat for his lack of runs, although it may be fair to say that there are a couple of technical areas that should be looked at as well. Like cutting out the big across the line heave-hoes.

NICK TRUMBULL

Another of the young Australian’s. Unfortunately came in a bit too low down the order to really show his worth, but the potential was there for all to see. Needed a hair cut though.

JAMES DERMOTT

Graciously stepped up (or should that be down?) from the seconds and probably wished he hadn’t. Another duck and no wickets with the ball. Did take a couple of smart slip catches though and was ‘chirping’ like a true Aussie most of the day. Decided Tom’s new nickname should be ‘Sauce’.

PETER BRADBURY

Claimed that he thoroughly enjoyed his day despite being bowled off a full toss for naught and doing bugger all in the field.

CHRISTIAN THREADER

Absolutely distraught that he’d followed in his father’s footsteps and managed to pick too many players. This on top of being dumped by his current girlfriend, then being offered sex on a plate by 2 former girlfriends all in 1 week. Was rather smug that he beat Bob White’s team points total last season, by exclaiming “I’m better than Bob”.

TOM BARKER

Is now officially owning up to having the bowling ‘yips’. His wicket was a ‘hit wicket’ after bowling a high bouncing long hop which the batsman tried to hit into Cuckfield. Said he will be bowling off spin next year. Classic run out with Pike. Back up, listen to the call, run. What we got was, sit on bat handle, trip over then shake head all the way back to the Pavilion.

JAMES RALPH

Made the greatest contribution of the day …… by introducing Travis & Nick. His golden arm continues to work wonders taking another 2 wickets in amongst a selection of some of the widest deliveries you’d ever wish to see. Extraordinary.

MARK CHEESMAN

Recent recruit from Ifield and is likely to be known as ‘The Cheese’. Looks like another quality Staplefield No.11, the only difference being he can catch. Bowls slow left arm spin which could be useful in the future.