OOH, JUMPERS FOR GOALPOSTS, STUMPS FOR BOUNDARY
MARKERS
It was always going to be one of those days. D.T. had
sent Zim a text message saying ‘see you at KH’. Zim assumed he meant ‘Kricket
Hut’ but it actually meant Keymer & Hasssocks, Either way, Dave ended up at
various grounds around the East/West Sussex border before he found us. It
didn’t matter as the game was delayed anyway. The recreational ground pavilion
had been vandalised the week before which meant the store room was
inaccessible. Not to worry, the innovative qualities of the opposition provided
us with a boundary marked out with spare stumps, sticks and twigs. Zim duly
lost the toss and we were sent into bat on a synthetic pitch.
Steve
Barker
Starting to enjoy batting at No.1 racking up a top
score 88. If Zim had declared a bit earlier, Steve would have carried his bat.
Oh well. Ran out his opening partner, the hapless Shrubb, by drilling a
straight drive back to the bowler who couldn’t get his hands out of the way
quick enough and deflected the ball on to the stumps. Spent most the time in
the field biting his tongue, desperately trying not to tell Zim all the things
he was doing wrong as Virgin Captain.
Mark Shrubb
Steady 36 with the bat before being on the receiving
end of one of those run out whilst backing up moments. A nightmare for Shrubb,
hilarity for the rest of his team mates. Was forced to bowl 2 overs at the end
of the match and was mightily relieved to avoid another non-fer …. just.
Kevin
Middle
Took him a few balls to get going. One of the opposition recognised this and exclaimed ‘he’ll hit one in a minute boys’. And that’s exactly what Kev did. Spanked 55 runs all over the ground very quickly indeed and when he finally holed out, reminded said opposition fielder who was boss. Bowled a pile of dog shit.
Ben Drake
Always a tough act to follow watching the 3 batsman
in front of you pile on the runs with relative ease. In an attempt to join in
the run fest, was duly clean bowled for 1. Still, he enjoyed his ‘long weekend’
in the South of France (Thursday to Thursday) the week before. Arrived and left
in a Volvo Estate. Hmmmm.
Mark Floyer
Making the No.5 slot his own with uncomplicated,
composed middle order innings. Something Staplefield have been missing for,
well, for ever actually. Getting caught on the penultimate ball of the innings
just took the gloss off but came back with a neat bowling spell and probably
deserved more than the 1 wicket he got. 2 excellent catches capped a solid ‘fantasy
point’ day.
Jason
Vorster
It’s not easy being Virgin Captain. Especially when
on League Captain Debut. Here are just a selection of the mistakes he made:
1.
Thought ‘KH’ stood for cricket hut
2.
Didn’t declare when we got to 190
3.
Only picked 10 players
4.
Didn’t declare when we got to 200
5.
Lost the toss
6.
Didn’t declare when we got to 210
7.
Allowed twigs & branches to be used as boundary
markers
8.
Didn’t declare when we got to 220
9.
Batted D.T. no.7
10.
Didn’t declare when we got to 230
11.
Bowled Tom more than 4 overs in a game we had to take
wickets
12.
Didn’t declare when we got to 240
13.
Posted fielders ‘saving the 2’ when we had to take
wickets
14.
Didn’t declare when we got to 250
15.
Didn’t take the advice of the other 9 ‘captains’ on
the field
16.
Declared at 251
Dave
Threader
Promoted to No.7 in the batting order, but still
didn’t manage to get in. When he came on to bowl and the oppo shouted out
‘bowlers name’, Dave promptly bellowed back ‘batsman No.7 in the book’. There’s
a first for everything. Bowled some excellent leg spin picking up 2 wickets.
May even have won the game for us if given a lengthier bowling spell.
James Ralph
Limahl was our trump card, but not even his golden
arm could get us all the wickets we needed. Still got 1 though. Spinkled some
white stuff on his muff at tea time.
Tom Barker
It was noted on arrival that he often arrives looking
like someone without gorm. Perhaps its those teenage hooded skateboarder tops
he insists on wearing. Not required to bat again, but are these DNB’s helping
his bid to win the 1st XI batting cup? Only time will tell. Took a
wicket, but that was about it.
Paul Floyer
A relaxing afternoon in the sunshine watching
everybody bat, bowl & field. Enjoyed the tea though.