Sunday XI vs. Burgess Hill St Andrews, 27th
June
Tits
Won toss,
had to bat as only 7 men were there for the start. Usual
one-paced (ie slow) innings. Took a catch. You know you’re in trouble when this
man’s your team’s top fantasy points scorer.
Fantasy rating: # # # #
Pike
Promoted to opener as all alternatives (Biffa, Hib
Jr) were amongst latecomers. Acquitted himself well with fine 31 before falling
to blinding catch at mid-off. One of few bowlers to avoid a non-fer.
Fantasy rating: # # #
Windy
The new Boycs, surpassing Mick, Pete and all others
with a crawl to 16 in an hour, including the run chase towards the end. Bemused
his former live-in lover Zim by remarking, during said run chase “You can’t hit
them if they’re straight can you”. Two overs of wides at death. One catch.
Fantasy rating: # # #
Biffa
Arrived late hence missed opening spot. Biffed a
quick 14 at the death. Kept wicket and managed to keep byes in single figures
(nine). Dropped a catch. Fortunately none of this affects fantasy points.
Fantasy rating: # #
Baby Hib
Also arrived late. Redeemed himself with a classic
little cameo of 18*. Complimented on his batting style by oppo square leg
fielder, fortunately his dad wasn’t square leg umpire.
Fantasy rating: # #
Gaz
Promoted up the order for the run chase,
unfortunately Mark Shrub wasn’t bowling for the opposition.
Fantasy rating: #
Zim
Batted too late thanks to Tits constantly changing
batting order. Managed to hit a 4 off his foot during the run chase. The only
other bowler to manage to avoid a non-fer.
Fantasy rating: # # #
JD
Desperate to get in to bat towards end of innings,
sat with pads on for a good hour thanks to constant changes in batting order.
DNB. Five overs of rubbish for lots of runs. “That’ll be six quid James thanks,
are you available next Sunday? Oh, why not?”
Fantasy rating: 0
Mr Floyer
Sir
Pick of our bowlers, very unlucky not to pick up a
wicket. DNB.
Fantasy rating: #
Hibbe
Another latecomer, hence his batting demotion despite
his matchwinning quarter century the Sunday before. Came on first change,
non-fer and 36 runs later his 10 points for turning up were gone.
Fantasy rating: 0
Cricket
Girl
DNB but scored beautifully. Bowled three overs for 20
runs, realized she was in danger of slipping into minus points territory and
pleaded to be taken off. Kept very quiet in pub afterwards.
Fantasy rating: #
FANTASY POINT STAR RATINGS:
5 # 100+
4 # 60-100
3 # 40-60
2 # 20-40
1 # 0-20
0 # Minus
Score
Staplefield
PB Tits 52
Pike 31
Windy 16
(yawn)
Biffa 14
Baby Hibbe 18*
Baz 3
Zim 15*
Total 167-5
declared Lost by 8 wickets