Saturday 1sts vs.
Chailey, 19th June
A crushing league defeat by 10 wickets … but that was
only a fraction of the story. Who could have guessed that a 10-minute rain
shower would bring us such entertainment …
Papa Barker
Batted on dodgy ankle, running was therefore dodgy. 20 runs despite this, 2nd top scorer on the day. Failed to stoop low for vital catch when they were 150-0.
Dodgy rating: 42
Dodgy Bob
Began day with top edge hook and caught on boundary off a bouncer. Dodgy bowling spell. Following a shower and break in play, could not be found. Ralphy eventually made the discovery of him entertaining himself in his car. He is now a legend.
Dodgy Rating: 100
Rob Jenner
Made debut, having been put into the side as a ringer from Barcombe. Claimed he had never seen anyone in that team having a sly one during a rain break. 100% runs in boundaries, but only 8 runs.
Dodgy Rating: 3
Lardinho
Final game of the season (probably). In newly accustomed batting position of 4, and held innings together with 61 dribbled and poked runs, plus one smashed boundary with his new bat. Rounded off season nicely by being carted for 6 into bushes to finish the game.
Dodgy Rating: 55
Count Shrubbula
Looked good on bouncy wicket to his tastes. His tastes have always included things bouncing nicely. Two fours and then … castled by a Yorker. Refused to bowl citing yet another fresh girly injury – looked increasingly injured as their openers amassed 169 for 0.
Dodgy Rating: 42
Pike
Classic innings facing short pitch bowling, playing from square leg. Went out to bat in helmet, prompting their skipper to shout out, “he doesn’t fancy it, he’s wearing a lid”. Spanked a couple through the covers but wasn’t even able to make up for things with a wicket – just like everyone else.
Dodgy Rating: 29
T Barker
Another not out as refused to ‘go for it’ late on, preferring to watch James Ralph do the hitting. Another non-fer. Quelle surprise.
Dodgy Rating: 40
Limahl
Wasn’t too shy-de-shy when encountering Bob in his car, fully occupied. Took time off poncy bass-playing to post useful 7 late runs, but no wickets either.
Dodgy Rating: 17
Kevin Timms
American making one and only ever cricketing performance. Bemused that players would disappear for a five-finger shuffle part way through a game – “they don’t even do that in baseball ‘til the 6th inning”
Bubbles
“Glove save and a beauty”. “Kick save and a beauty”. More of the latter. Padded up for what seemed like ages for no return – during both innings.
Dodgy Rating: 49
Nabob
Once more umpired for nearly 2 hours, did not bat, and provided late entertainment with 2 ‘unusual’, ‘experimental’ overs, in the same way that progressive rock was ‘unusual and experimental – i.e. crap.
Dodgy Rating: 69
Staplefield 166-7
(Lee 61, S Barker 20)
Chailey 169-0 (off 34.5 overs)
Chailey won by 10 wickets