STAPLEFIELD, AT LAST, FIND A SOUTH AFRICAN STAR

Saturday 1^st XI v Lingfield, 31^st July

Odd game this one. The camp seemed to be split 3 ways. Camp 1 were those wanting to win the game. Camp 2 were those that didn’t want to win the game (for fear of being too close to promotion). Camp 3 were those who simply didn’t care one way or the other.

MARK SHRUBB

Fielding: Atrocious, appalling, f****ng awful.

Bowling: Revelled in bowling against the rabbit stew at the end.

Batting: Top scored 49. Which was surprising considering in which camp he was.

Camp: 2

PETER BRADBURY

Fielding: Pretty good.

Bowling: Not applicable (even it was a ‘Tour Weekend’)

Batting: Out 1^st ball. In his own words “I did well to get an edge”. To be honest, it was because you didn’t do anything well that you were out 1^st ball.

Camp: 1 (didn’t like the opposition ‘wanting the win more than us’)

MARTIN MURRAY

Fielding: Apart from the moment when he ‘willed’ the ball over the boundary in a desperate attempt not to have to run (the ball just stopped short, so he still had to move that cumbersome frame of his), fielding was rather good.

Bowling: Not needed. Tried to get a message to the Captain that he had lost a few pounds this year due to bowling a lot more, but Christian was having none of it presumably because there was no real evidence to support this weight loss claim.

Batting: Scored 9 more runs than expected.

Camp: 3

MARK FLOYER

Fielding: No visible problems.

Bowling: Followed up last weeks quote of “I never take wickets” by picking up 4 this week. A sterling job considering he came on at 86 – 0.

Batting: Solid 15. It took an excellent catch to get him out.

Camp: 3 (still too early in his SCC career to have that ‘I’d die for the Ram attitude’)

JASON VORSTER

Fielding: Took an excellent catch at straight silly mid-off.

Bowling: Not required.

Batting: Was required but couldn’t deliver this week. Back to the usual wild hoik, clean bowled routine.

Camp: Very much so.

NICK MERCADO

Fielding: Nice run out.

Bowling: Superb. At last a leg spinner has been discovered who not only can land it on the strip but also gets bounce, turn, variety and wickets. Promising indeed.

Batting: Probably best if we concentrate on the bowling.

Camp: 1

KEVIN MOORMAN

Fielding: A statue

Bowling: Not required

Batting: Started to Moormanate them, but it was over all too quickly for the crowds liking.

Camp: 1. It’s for The Ram.

CHRISTIAN THREADER

Fielding: 100% commitment.

Bowling: Bit out of sorts today (but wasn’t helped by some ropey fielding).

Batting: Looked good for a while, before being clean bowled as a No.8 should be.

Camp: 1 “We’ve got the whole winter to recruit some decent players”. To be fair, we’ve had 15 years to do that.

TOM BARKER

Fielding: Comically had to chase a couple of balls down to 3^rd man.

Bowling: Really needs to start developing his batting.

Batting: Says he already has 1 hand on the batting cup and with another ‘not out’ score who can argue? Opposition want him to teach them how to ‘on drive’. Tom wants them to teach him all the other available strokes to a batsman.

Camp: 3. The batting cup is all that matters now.

DAVE THREADER

Fielding: No problems to report. Indeed took an excellent catch in the covers.

Bowling: Declined the opportunity this week.

Batting: Room for improvement. 2 ducks in a row. 3 more and he equals Muzza.

Camp: 1. “Its always best to win, whatever the situation”.

JAMES GRIFFITHS

Fielding: Nervous start with the ball bouncing off his gloves everywhere. Came good when it mattered though with 3 smart catches.

Bowling: n/a

Batting: Think it would be fair to say that he was absolutely shatting his pants before he went in. A smashed 4 over deep mid-wicket instantly made him overtake 4 other batsman’s scores.

Camp: 3