”ME FOOT’S SO BAD I CAN HARDLY STAND UP”

 

Saturday 2nds vs. Moulscomb Wanderers, 3rd July

 

Andy                      

Brilliant display of fielding, though he saved his best until fielding for the opposition.  Hopes for another good partnership faded when bowled for 2.

J.D.                        

Upset Christian by not playing for the 1sts because “me foot’s so bad I can’t bowl, hardly stand up.”  Bowled lengthy 7 over spell, picking up 3 wickets, including a ‘bouncer’ which bowled their man.  Looked solid with the bat until bowled by old man going for the big one.

S. Cooper             

Again looked in vicious mood with the bat smashing 2 early boundaries, before holing out in single figures.  News that sister is back in the country made bowling and catching form improve throughout the team.  (See Herbasz)

Windy                   

Bowled mammoth 15 over spell without taking a wicket.  Wondering why the Skipper kept him on for so long?  So were we.  Never really looked comfortable when batting and couldn’t reproduce previous games heroics.

Yule                       

Picked up useful 2 wickets, including their top scorer.  After 3 consecutive boundaries the signs were ominous, but held his nerve.  Looked best hope of winning game after 2 maximums in an over, but holed out next over.

Moormanator     

Lucky to escape a first ball LBW after usual shuffle in front of stumps.  Didn’t last much longer though.  Seemed intent on losing entire side by ignoring convoy pleas and not handing out directions to those he raced off from.

Herbasz               

Importance of keeping the ball up in wet conditions seemed to have missed Stef.  Then again never flavoured a ‘Lizzie hug’.  Didn’t take part in the batting collapse last week.  Took part in it this week, though.

Mercado              

A South African plucked from the depths of Sun Alliance.  Bowled 5 tight overs at the start, then made to field at the bottom of the hill and retrieve balls from the car park, ditch, trees and brambles for the rest of the game.  Welcome to Staplefield!  Looked handy with the bat.  But not for very long.

Griff                       

For a long time it didn’t look like he’d get to face a ball.  Didn’t face many in the end.  Believed their skipper to be ‘a lot older than he looks’.  Probably the best judge of that.  Picked up 2 catches as keeper, however unlikely that seemed at the start.

Charlie                  

Had nothing to hold his box in before the game.  Decided on a pair of his girlfriend’s lacy undies.  They definitely cut in more than his bowling did.  Bowled out the git in their team, much to their delight.  Much to be admired in his fielding, much less in his batting.

Davros                  

Never the most reliable catcher of the ball, but even less so when shouting “Och, ya joking” when under a high chance.  Team were less expectant on the 2nd chance that came his way.  Did bruise his finger.  Didn’t catch it.  No chance to impress with the bat either.