BUCKETS LEAKS IN STATTO FIRST-FEST

Sunday XI vs. Nuthurst, 25th April

 

This was the game when we were all out for 37 last year. As the strip was cut only minutes before the start of the game and looked greener than the contents of Retchup’s stomach, everyone was expecting carnage, and that was just amongst us. However things don’t always work out that way. Here’s the tale of the tape, told in First-Of-The-Season stats.

Batting

First losing toss

Tits

First opening pair

Skelly and Van Brad

First run

Biffa

First out

Cliffordius Baconius

First boundary

Splasher

First maximum

Maximus Splashius

First 50 partnership

Herb and Bradders

First duck

Bandy Bob

First run-out

Frapper by Pike

First not out

Pike and Spanker

First DNB

Cricket Girl and Nabob

First tea

Threader joint effort, Christian had the responsibility, Dave did the work

 

Bowling/Fielding

First Wicket

Nabob Jr

First catch

Skeletor

First dropped catch

Buckets – Shock!

First slip catch

Bradimus Minimus

First maximum conceded

Mr Floyer Sir

First wide

Stupid boy

First female bowler

Yvanisovitch

First victim clean bowled

Young Threader

First LBW

Spanker

First ‘avoiding bowling’ injury

Zim

First bowler to fail to take a wicket (thereby costing us the game)

The Shrubbster

First winning draw and shock result

SCC

 

 

Staplefield

Bacon S                  ct                             1

Bradbury VB           ct & b                       17           

Shrubb S                 ct                             74

White B                    b                              0

Vorster Z                                ct                             7

Floyer S                   b                              5

Bradbury F              run out                     3

Threader P              not out                     14

Pugh WM                 not out                     5

Condon CG              dnb

Threader N              dnb

Extras                                                      15

Total                                                       141-7 declared

 

Pikette                      11-4-13-3                                Flogger                    7-0-35-2

Condom Girl             5-1-14-2                  Nabob                      5-2-5-1

*ank Manager          7-2-9-1                    Splashman              4-3-8-0

 

Nuthurst 85-9

 

Match drawn

 

Batsmen 1, 2, 5 and 11 all identical to last season. And that one duck is five less than corresponding fixture last season – nice!