MATCH REPORT SPECIAL : STAPLEFIELD 1sts  VS. PRESTON NOMADS, 3rd July

 

PIKE BEMUSED AS HIS PLAYERS DRIVE OFF TO 2nd XI FIXTURE

 

Newly elected SCC 1st XI Captain Christian Threader is finding out the hard way just how difficult a job he has taken on. Just half an hour before the start of play, he witnessed several potential 1st Team players drive off to play a 2nd Team fixture instead, leaving him short staffed for this crucial League match.

 

Here we report from the Rebel Camp: -

 

James ‘The Kiwi’ Dermott

Jeez, to be honest mate where I come from, the Individual is always greater than The Club. Although I’d have liked to have played against the Nomad 3rd XI, the chances are that I would’ve probably only batted about No.6, 7 or 8 and only had about half a dozen overs to bowl. Whereas, I thought that if I claimed to have a bad foot, I could turn out for the 2nd XI against inferior opposition, OPEN the batting AND get a good 7 over spell of bowling in as well! And that’s exactly what happened. Ripper!

 

Steve ‘Windy’ Miller

To be fair, where I come from, the Individual is always greater than The Club. Although I’d have liked to have played against the Nomad 3rd XI, the chances are that I would’ve probably only batted about No.5, 6 or 7 and only had about half a dozen overs to bowl. Whereas, I thought that if I said I needed to hold a new player’s hand, I could turn out for the 2nd XI against inferior opposition, bat No.4 AND get to bowl 15 overs as well! And that’s exactly what happened. Splendid!

 

Kev ‘The Moormanator’ Moorman

Well, to be honest, I’d already given up Bradbury & Bacon out of my squad of 13. To have released another would have taken me down to 10 and a cricket team needs to be made up of 11. The maths just wouldn’t allow it. In any case, James had a bad foot so wasn’t fit enough to play. Also, he didn’t tell me he was available until Friday night, so it was all a bit short notice. I felt sorry for him with such a nasty injury so I let him open the batting and bowl just the 7 overs.

 

Dave ‘Stavross’ Davross

Oche ayyeee, ooocchhhhh shiiiiiiitt. Had a greet game on thar Saturday, batting number 11 and not geeting a bowl. Occhhh shiiiitt.