Sunday XI v
Burgess Hill 7th August
Cliff’s unique brand of Leadership meant that just 8 players
assembled for this away fixture. Some bizarre midweek communications had
injected mass confusion into the rank & file. No-one quite knew if they
were playing, whether the game was still on, which Burgess Hill side we were
supposed to be playing, where the opposition ground was or anything. Anyway, it
turned out not to be the complete disaster you’d expect …. unless your name is
Trisha….
CLIFF BACON
Primarily responsible for the player shortage fuck up.
Recovered well by managing to capture the services of one of the opposition to
get us up to 9 players. Was forced to allow Burgess Hill to bat first meaning
we had to run around a huge fast outfield, understaffed for the best part of 2
½ hours. Brilliant. Managed to restrict them to 222-6, which to be fair was no
mean feat considering. Did the honourable thing by opening up the innings and
scored 15 runs.
KEVIN
MOORMAN
Kev is an experienced man. When Captain Bacon offered up the
wicket keeping gloves, he rushed at the opportunity knowing full well that that
would be the position that would do the least running about in the field. Also
meant he didn’t have to bowl. Smart thinking. However, it was payback time when
he was forced to open the batting. Twatted 14 runs off 1 over before being
stumped …. with the wicket keeper actually appealing for a catch behind. The
Moormanator attracts peculiar moments.
NICK MERCADO
Got a bit grumpy in the field when he was relegated to 3rd
change bowler behind Stephan. However, got over his sulks when given the
opportunity to bat No.3. Became the hero of the afternoon scoring an unbeaten
96. If only we had 11 men …. heck, if only we had 10 men! Gutted.
DAVE ROSS
A Fixture Secretary’s work is never done. Spent most of
Sunday lunchtime having to trace the opposition Fixture Secretary to find out
where their ground is. Turned down the opportunity to bowl but paid the price
by having to bat No.4 (and was unsuccessful in managing to persuade any of the
lower order batsmen to switch positions). It was Dave’s FIFTH Sunday duck on
the trot. A new Staplefield record. Congratulations Dave!
Bowled 7 overs and was spanked pretty much everywhere.
Joyous. Had a little more luck with the bat giving support to Mercado, with a
quick fire 45. Was absolutely devastated when he launched one high up into the
big oak tree, only to be told that local rules say it is only a 4.
STEVE COMB
Opposition recruit for the day and clearly our best bowler,
taking 3 wickets … and boy did he enjoy taking them against his mates. None of
us celebrated too much with him because of his rancid acne. He couldn’t bat
though, picking up a golden quacker.
CHRISTIAN
THREADER
Bowling off 2 paces these days due to crumbling knees. Its
still as shit off 2 paces as it is off 10. Batting is always going to be
comical with only 1 leg fully operable and comical it was, running himself out
in true Pike fashion.
STEPHAN
HERBASZ
Apart from Steve Comb, was probably the pick of the bowlers
and took every available opportunity to compare his rather good figures against
Mr Shrubb’s rather poor ones. Didn’t do too badly with the bat either, staying
with Mercado for quite some time before falling for 9.
JAMES
GRIFFITHS
Elected to play in his scuba-shoes. The boy is shameless.
Bowled the worst spell since Eddie Parker’s Tour effort (for those that can
remember his 14 ball overs that year). Failed to survive the last couple of
balls of the over so that Nick could claim is 1st ever Century. What
a bastard. And what’s more we were only 8 runs away from a historic victory.
BOB FULLER
AWOL
Didn’t turn up because he was confused. Conveniently didn’t
have his mobile switched on on Sunday.