MUSHY CHEESE !

Saturday 1^st XI v Copthorne, 20^th August

Player	Nice Review	Nasty Review
Councillor Bradbury	Bravely offered to open the batting despite 3 week break. Brilliant catch at short midwicket.	Crap batting, made an easy catch look difficult. Bizarre encouragement to Charlie Cooper’s bowling – “Nice line Charlie, more teasing than your wife’s underwear”. Perv.
Alex Morris	Cheesy’s mate. Stepped in a short notice for that wimp Avocado.	Cheesy’s mate.
Rocket Roshan	Another late replacement. Kept wicket with aplomb, took a good catch. Unluckily bowled.	Kept like Bacon. Batted like Coleman. Juggled a simple catch three times before luckily clutching it at the 4^th go. Cost us 2 runs by calling ‘over’ early when byes were available.
Charlie	Great opening spell with the ball, unluckily got a dose at the end off their blatter. Top scored with 24.	Bowling got the caning it deserved. Slogged a few lucky runs. Should have walked when run out, Rocket refused to give it. Give that boy some umpiring lessons.
Zim	Came on 1^st change and bowled seven tidy overs. Picked up their opener clean bowled, admittedly the ball bounced twice. Unluckily out 1^st ball to an outrageous off cutter.	Rubbish bowling, rubbish batting, South African cricketers my arse!
Skywalker	Four over cover. Unluckily out attempting to repeat the stroke.	Lucky four over cover. Out attempting to repeat the stroke.
Mattocado	Avocado’s cousin. Classy 14 before being unluckily stumped.	Avocado’s cousin.
Pike	Lead by example. Bowled 21 overs on a gammy knee, took a four-fer. 15 at the death got us to the extra batting point, never looked like getting out.	Hogged the bowling. Took for ever to score 15 against donkey-drop bowling when we all wanted to get off to the pub.
Stan	Great in the field, out stumped, didn’t realise you have to keep in your crease! Thanks Copthorne for encouraging a youngster, nice.	Learn the rules you tosser.
Cheesy	Seven classy overs of left arm spin at the death for 29 runs when they were going for it. Picked up a wicket and a new nickname – Mushy. Hit a boundary, his first for SCC?	One for 29 piss poor on a turning wicket. Bowled through the gate when his team needed him to hold out with Pikey for the draw.
Gaz	Brave effort to turn out on one leg. Rewarded by his skipper with one death over. Thanks!	Batted like a cripple, bowled like a cripple, fielded like a cripple.
Trisha		Dropped out with a ‘bit of a cold’. Wimp!

Copthorne 155 for 7 SCC 100 all out