“CHECK-OUT”
DT’S NEW NICKNAME FOR MERCADO
Sunday XI v Lindfield, 22nd
May
Doesn’t seem to mind batting at No.1 nowadays, skipping
along to 45 before being castled by some slow off-spin. Jug avoidance again?
Probably. Rolled back the years with a nostalgic 4 over bowling stint and even
had one of the oppo batsman scared of the pace. Now we haven’t seen that in the
last 10 years. Was part of a bizarre Captaincy effort, being nominated by the
stand-in official skipper of the day (Zim) to take control of field place
movements only. Peculiar.
Stand-in skipper for the day and bravely stepped up to the
challenge of opening the batting. Didn’t look too out of place either and
apparently their opening bowler commented that he was one of the straightest
batsmen he’d bowled against. Peculiar. In the field he had a bowl and kept
wicket. The perks of being Captain eh?
Cruised to 16 runs without too much trouble at all before
careering down the track like a loon and getting himself stumped. Had to bring
himself off (apparently no-one else was prepared to do it ….. not surprisingly)
after conceding a couple of boundaries too many. Dropped catches almost at will
in the field.
Comedy
dismissal for the lardy one today. It looked like one of those LBW decisions
where it strikes him right in front and then he lunges forward in a desperate
attempt to con the Umpire that he got a huge stride in. Umpire wasn’t fooled,
up came the finger and back to the Pavilion Mick trudged f-ing and blinding all
the way. Rolled back the years with some nostalgic glove-work behind the stumps
after Zim decided he fancied a bowl himself.
Rather arrogantly explained to our young Australian
fraternity that he only deals in 6’s when he bats. It looked as though he was
true to his arrogant words when he nailed one over the Pavilion for a maximum,
however a few singles after that soon put him in his place. Was rather
embarrassingly caught out by ex-Stapler Bob White, however did manage to exact
revenge by returning the compliment later in the day.
The latest victim of a Dave Threader nickname (Mercado ….
Supermercado ….. supermarket …… Tescos ….. get it?). Tesco managed to biff 33
runs including 6 boundaries to help ease our faltering innings. His technique,
closely analysed by Staplefields latest qualified Grade Z cricket coach, Mick
Lee was seen to be one that will make him a prime candidate for a Tour duck
later this summer. Bowling figures of
1-50 probably are a tad unjust given that he had about 4 catches
spilled. Was also said to look like a gypsy.
At last we have a proper nickname. We knew something would
happen eventually. 2 Staple Diet Reporters at the game studied his batting
style and noticed that during every run he makes, he ‘doffs’ his cap. Watch out
for it next time you watch Mark bat. Once you’ve noticed it, you’ll enjoy all
his runs nearly as much as Eddie Parker’s. Anyway, a staunch unbeaten 29
coupled with bowling figures of 4-34 capped a good days work for Doff.
Desperate not to be out 1st ball like the
previous day. Succeeded in his mission, but only by 1 ball. Still not prepared
to bowl claiming this week that he had a sore arm. Didn’t seem to affect him
throwing the ball in from the boundary though. Strange.
Claimed his hair is “lush”. Ralphy - here’s a better adjective
that we’ve thought of, “dodgy”. Made 14 runs short of his personal goal of
being able to score 20 runs in an innings. Didn’t threaten much with the ball.
Has the golden arm had it’s day? Now has a girlfriend from Guildford who has
made him go all gooey and slushy.
Turned up in a pair of brown checked trousers and flip-flops
(or “thongs” if you speak the language New Zealand). And you wonder why the top
fashion houses of the world don’t include anything or anyone Australian? Have
we uncovered the Antipodean Bradbury? Anyway, didn’t want to bowl & scored
1 run. Top banana.
Cried off with “a cold”. Ahhh, you just try and be a brave
soldier and take your Lemsip, there’s a good boy. TART.
Cried off with “a poorly foot”. Ahhh, you just try and be a
brave soldier and pop a Mr Bump plaster in where it hurts. TART.